Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I HATE the Dentist!

I am NEVER going to the dentist again. Today I got my first cavity filled, and it was the worst experience of my entire life. I'm not even kidding. First of all, I've never had this done before, so I expected a little more explanation of what was going to happen, but all I got was a big needle stuck in the back of my mouth. Lovely. It was the most painful thing I have ever felt. So, the dentist leaves the room saying it will take a few minutes to kick in. Thirty seconds later, I break into a sweat, get dizzy, and my left eye goes blurry. The next thing I know, I am slouched down in the chair trying to regain consciousness before the dentist comes back. I wipe off my brow, and pretend to read a magazine. He comes in to see if I am numb enough, and as luck would have it, I am not. He sticks the needle back in my mouth for round two, and oww! Asshole. This time I don't pass out, but now my entire face is numb, I want to cry, and the assistant is trying to talk to me, but all I want to say is shut the hell up. The dentist comes back a few minutes later, finally ready to invade my mouth with his drill. This scares me. As he is drilling, I start to taste the smoke and pieces of who-knows-what, and it hurts!!! I squirm, moan, and wince, and he notices and stops what he is doing. He looks up at his assistant, scolding her, "I thought you said she was numb!!!" - like its her fault he's an asshole. So, he takes out all four of his power tools and proceeds to give me a third shot. Are you kidding me?! Okay, so we're back in the mouth now to finish up the job, and all I want to do is yell, hurry the fuck up! Get your metal out of my pretty mouth! And the sound. The sound was excruciating! It scared me shitless! It was almost worst than the pain! I kept listening to the screeching and imagining what it would feel like if I weren't numb. The sound was going to hurt me! So he keeps poking, drilling, cleaning, smoothing, sanding, more drilling, sucking, poking, heating, poking, almost done! Liar! Ten minutes later he is finally finished and all he can say is, "that was a bad one. You better not eat until that numbness goes away, probably three hours." What a dick. Excuse me, but next time could you please be a little bit nicer? Do me a favor and try to inject enough novocaine the FIRST time. Tell me I'm going to be alright while you are welding away at my teeth. And, for the love of God, NEVER tell a girl she isn't allowed to eat. Fucker! So, now its three hours later and I am STARVING. My cheek is numb, my chin is numb, and I can't feel half of my tongue. I tried having some water, but it just dribbled down my chin, like I'm a freaking geriatric. Nice. Real nice. As for all my friends who said it wouldn't hurt...screw you. Next time I say I need someone to hold my hand at the dentist's office, I mean it! When I get my teeth cleaned, I'm dragging someone's ass down there to hold my hand. Don't think I'm joking. Rachel-I know you empathize with me-I'm right here with you girl...I'll hold your hand any time you need it...and I'll blot your tears. For everyone else out there, brush your teeth! Now! Go do it! Hurry! I wouldn't wish this upon my most hated enemies.

Now, get me some food damnit.

And a margarita.

Monday, January 16, 2006

WORST 10

Why did I decide to embarrass myself and post incredibly lousy pictures of myself (and my friends-hahahaha suckers!*) for everyone to see? In hopes of making you laugh, of course!! These ten photos are the the ugliest, weirdest, and most freakish pictures you will ever come across on this blog. Now you can see a part of me that I usually like to keep locked away in the depths of My Documents. Enjoy, giggle, make fun of me, but please, I beg you, don't stop being my friend (or anyone else pictured here). :)

In order of least bad, to delete-NOW-and-empty-the-recycle-bin-HURRY!



"Helya, you're beautiful."



"Hi, we're relatives of Bozo the Clown, and we're here for the party."



"You chopped off my head!"



"Don't eat me!"



I'm pregnant, and her name is Smirnoff.



I don't even know what to write here.



Can you see the hangy ball thing? I can. Click to enlarge and die.



Be a friend and cut them off. WTF!?



Whoever decided it was okay to take this photo needs to put down their drink.


and the #1 worst photo of 2005:


They let me out on a day pass.



* if anyone posted here would like to be removed, please leave a comment. I am sure I can find a substitute-my computer is full of nasties.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Best of 2005

I dedicate this post to the best twenty three photos of 2005. Laugh, remember, but most of all...enjoy! (click to enlarge)
























*Thanks Rachel for helping me decide among our millions!

Monday, January 02, 2006

2006

Welcome to my new blog! I haven't written in a while, but I wanted to start the new year out with a fresh look, and new site! This blog is now the centerpiece for my life as a 23 year old graduate. Hopefully I will still have a life, and be able to write about some great experiences in either the working world, or in my lovely countless homework free evenings.

Just a little recap since graduation: I was forced directly into work on Monday morning after graduation weekend. From there, I worked 9 days in a row, everyone left town, and I flew home after a lonely birthday at work. LIFE SUCKED! I immediately regreted my decision to graduate!

Home was well...home, but I had a fantastic time with my mom shopping and running errands. Christmas was interesting, but whatever...at least my mom didn't have to work this year. I also got sex and the city, season 6, which I finished watching today since my work was cancelled due to a power outage from the weather! WOOT!

New Years in San Francisco was fabulous! Rachel, Tim and I went down Thursday afternoon and took a gander around Golden Gate park, where we were offered some good herb several times in just a few minutes. It was rather amusing. We met up with Kara at her quaint little studio, and went out to dinner at Union Square by the big Christmas tree! We couldn't get into Cheesecake Factory (BOO!) so we went to some Diner, and then just went home. Friday, we ventured out shopping while Tim met up with a friend in Oakland. It was very rainy, but we still managed to have fun. Friday night, we got drunk around 5pm, and rode the Muni downtown, and walked a bajillion blocks to dinner at Gordon Bierch. Kara was extremely belligerant, and entertained us all. :) Afterward, we got picked up by Raul (Mr. Big's driver) and he drove us to another bar. Kara forgot her ID so they wouldn't let her in. She took a taxi home to get it, while we waited in another bar for her to return. While Kara was puking in the cab, we were losing the height of our rage (at 9pm-we are losers.) So...we walked about 30 blocks downtown to the nearest Muni, and waited about 3 years until the N train came. It was the slowest freaking train ever and stopped for 15 minutes at each stop, then broke twice, and I was freezing, wet, and I wanted to die. YAY. Saturday we slept in and then Tim and I went down to Pier 39 and had lunch at Bubba Gumps. It was tasty, and I got a photo with Forrest Gump. Remember Tim, it's not the size that matters, its how tough she is! HAHA, yay Forrest! :) Saturday night, we got fancy and took the Muni downtown to GlasKat. We got tickets for the open bar there, and had an hour to guzzle down drinks so that we wouldn't have to pay anything all night. Lucky for me, it only took 1.5 drinks to get me pretty much wasted. From then on, the pictures tell the story.

So, its back to work now. Ugg...but hey..I don't have school tomorrow, and therefore I don't have any sorrow in my pinhole. Sorry kids, let me know if you need any homework help! I'm off to the store, because I'm trying to become domestic. God, I'm old...old and FABULOUS!!!!!!!
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